Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I miss him..This song always reminded me of John. I have worked on the house all day. And I am getting ready to start cooking tomorrow. My heart is not in it, but I am going to do it for my kids. They need me to cook and try to make things as normal as possible.

That in itself is a gift. To not show sorrow when all I want to do is stay in bed until Christmas is over. It floors me, Christmas. It was his season. He loved the Christmas music and all the festivities that went along with it.

But I am going to do this for the kids. Wishing you all a lovely Christmas and sending you love.

xoxo Nita

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

This is an artist named Ari Hest, the song is: Bird Never Flies.
I had only heard about him a few months ago but I love, love his voice. It is as smooth as honey.

Comforting to the soul...

I have been working on the house and working on a story. I have thought a lot about poetry lately. I need some good poetry books to read. I saw a poet I want to learn more about. I have her name written down somewhere... I am going to the library tomorrow to check out some of her works.

Poetry has always been dear to my heart, I have written books full of poetry but have always been way to shy to post any of it. I began to write it in grade school.

My surgery is rapidly approaching and I am having more peace about it. I have dreamed about John the last two nights. It was comforting. Some days I get really down after I have dreamed about him. But today I tried to stay positive.

The hardest part of it all is the loss of his presence. The complete total knowing that I will never see him here again. That is brutal. After being with him for 22 years, it is hard to accept.

This song reminds me of him. He was not a person to give up on me easily. He actually never gave up on me..He always said he took the marriage vows seriously and that anything could be worked out. I agreed with him. But there were tough times in our marriage, just like anyone.

But I had the assurance of his love. That is missed.

I hope you are all having a good week. Does everyone have their tree up? And their cookies baked?

xoxo Nita